"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
