please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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