Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
