I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
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I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
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Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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