I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Drake has all the answers
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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