they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
