Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize