there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
