I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
