If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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