Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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