Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize