Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
