Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
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Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
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Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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