You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
