The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize