i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
