i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
