Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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