You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
