Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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