Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
