She just used a chaser for red wine.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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