Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Then she called me a home wrecking whore.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."

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(905): View more from Ontario

ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.

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(907): View more from Alaska

You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.

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