so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.