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Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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