Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical

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  (314): I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical http://tfl.nu/2sib
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (1526)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.

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  (336): If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions. http://tfl.nu/lybr
  Replies (54) Good night (837) Bad night (1613)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.

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  (845): Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka. http://tfl.nu/zb0y
  Replies (10) Good night (5908) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...

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  (631): Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit... http://tfl.nu/oz8a
  Replies (11) Good night (4943) Bad night (1529)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk

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  (606): He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk http://tfl.nu/slqk
  Replies (57) Good night (892) Bad night (14875)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?

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  (704): Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane? http://tfl.nu/zikg
  Replies (11) Good night (3447) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.

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  (870): It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis. http://tfl.nu/5xg0
  Replies (5) Good night (1999) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.

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  (502): It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass. http://tfl.nu/hhxz
  Replies (19) Good night (1166) Bad night (3202)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.

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  (973): I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst. http://tfl.nu/4se8
  Replies (16) Good night (1328) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.

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  (856): She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group. http://tfl.nu/inny
  Replies (11) Good night (507) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.

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  (402): Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring. http://tfl.nu/m8y1
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (214)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  did you know we used to have a pool?

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  (306): mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived (306): did you know we used to have a pool? http://tfl.nu/0ssr
  Replies (0) Good night (373) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?

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  (608): Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew? http://tfl.nu/2ign
  Replies (1) Good night (338) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.

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  (832): I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie. http://tfl.nu/pzlb
  Replies (0) Good night (235) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.

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  (831): I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it. http://tfl.nu/3v3l
  Replies (2) Good night (159) Bad night (465)

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