You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude i'm inner monologue high
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The power of my boobs compel you
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.