Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  that's an acceptable place to lick

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  (212): that's an acceptable place to lick http://tfl.nu/6rie
  Replies (11) Good night (4088) Bad night (565)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date

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  (413): He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date http://tfl.nu/21qw
  Replies (58) Good night (1174) Bad night (5688)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style

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  (614): she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style http://tfl.nu/squ6
  Replies (23) Good night (6782) Bad night (1361)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.

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  (814): if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning. http://tfl.nu/xo3z
  Replies (20) Good night (5117) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card

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  (304): Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card http://tfl.nu/10du
  Replies (15) Good night (4217) Bad night (806)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?

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  (404): What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender? http://tfl.nu/bcp3
  Replies (4) Good night (1269) Bad night (2260)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.

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  (425): Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us. http://tfl.nu/n2iw
  Replies (5) Good night (1972) Bad night (815)
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  (916): View more from California

  Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.

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  (916): Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity. http://tfl.nu/tb29
  Replies (4) Good night (3156) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.

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  (518): You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come. http://tfl.nu/a590
  Replies (17) Good night (2485) Bad night (507)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.

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  (775): I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/hbpw
  Replies (9) Good night (1229) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.

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  (320): Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later. http://tfl.nu/4ix3
  Replies (8) Good night (1313) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?

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  (916): Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right? http://tfl.nu/1so7
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.

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  (423): I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way. http://tfl.nu/5vvj
  Replies (5) Good night (1017) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.

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  (707): I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy. http://tfl.nu/am87
  Replies (6) Good night (697) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.

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  (978): You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/aomg
  Replies (1) Good night (686) Bad night (265)

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