she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
