it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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