oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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