why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
