even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
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The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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