Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize