what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
