Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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