After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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