Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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