I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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