Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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