Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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