Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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