She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
