HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
