Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
