people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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