Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
