I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
