Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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