think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
