I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
