Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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