Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
All I want is dick and wine.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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