remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
