marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
