...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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