good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
