if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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