If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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