I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
