You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
