So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
