You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
