i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
time to smoke my breakfast
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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